A nice picture of meself’

Totoro by Ravenelle

I am going to take a nice picture of myself. Hair fixed up, touch of makeup, smile nice, a fetching top, a fluffy little dog tucked up under my arm, perhaps some cleavage and a nice necklace, all  the props for the picture. Then I am going to mass distribute it, you can have copies to pass out if you want to get on the movement too, I need as much help as I can get.  >.> This picture shall saturate the market, and since people are lazy they will grab the easiest one they can find. Does anyone know how to get this posted into the AP photo pool?

If I ever die, go missing, need a  picture to sign my autograph to, ( xoxo Ravi), get featured in a  most wanted posted, win an award, get arrested, my Aunt needs a photo to complete her visual family tree, or  you want a picture for that 5X7 frame you just bought,  follow the parameters listed out below, this is the photo I will permit use of.

Photo’s not included to use are as follows:

1.) Driver’s license photo

2.) Photo’s from that party we were at until 3am (or any party)

3.) The naked ones with the body cut off. If I see those on the news when I am missing, I will know where it came from, and I hope your home becomes overtaken by ants.

4.) The ones from right after I gave birth, this is a six month spread of time.

5.) The ones from right before I gave birth, this includes a year prior spread of time.

6.) Any Christmas morning photo’s, EVER

7.) Any picture involving me with my tongue out.

8.) Any picture involving me mooning you, and or others.

9.) Any picture of me loading soap into the dishwasher.

10.) Morning pictures, even if you want to go on about how cute I am in when I first wake up. You lie, I am clumsy, half of my hair is often sticking straight up, and big pillow lines across my face. Humiliate me with these and if I am missing I am not coming back.

11.) I reserve this one on this, because this list is ever evolving, and if a need arises for you to need a photo of mine to use, please refer to this list first.

Or else….should I list out the ramifications of violating this list? or are we clear?